Can you ever possibly imagine that marriages, relationships, partnerships can end because of discord created by health difficulties in one or both partners?
There are two inspiring reasons to write this newsletter related to physical rather than emotional reasons relationships can struggle and possibly break up.
The first reason came up when after speaking with one of my Aunts about her brother-in law's marriage breaking up after many, many years. This particular "perfect" couple are now in their 70s. In all encounters with this couple for many years, they were a much unified and happy couple. My Aunt subtly expressed dismay and also shock probably because this would be the last couple she would expect to break up. This break-up however is not so surprising at all.
The second reason is related to some other compelling information about a couple's marriage difficulty given by Dr. Daniel Amen in a PBS special currently airing, entitled, "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life."
Dr. Daniel Amen is a psychiatrist, and an exceptionally gifted and caring one who understands about Healing.
He is genuinely interested in getting his patients better, and he feels good when they do. Dr. Amen understands Healing better than most if not 99% of all psychiatrists, and always seeks to provide Healing to his patients.
In his PBS special, Dr. Amen discussed a couple who failed marriage therapy. After many therapeutic sessions, a psychologist had said the couple should divorce. After examining the man's SPECT brain scan (a scan that shows current brain function) Dr. Amen did some brilliant investigational thinking and questioning and discovered that the man's behavior had begun to change 5 years earlier. Five years earlier the husband began working on furniture and indirectly inhaling solvents as part of that job. Solvents are chemicals, a portion of which can escape into the air (become volatile) and then be breathed in. Dr. Amen noticed that the husband's brain scan looked like he was taking "street drugs". Dr. Amen has viewed over 30,000 scans and correlated them with people's diagnosis. I would like to commend this man's wife for not giving up and finding a reason for her husband turning into a "jerk"!
As a Healer I have known for several years about health difficulties causing relationship difficulties, and also possibly leading to a break.
There are so many possible reasons for marriages breaking up from a physical health point of view that if you want to keep your marriages, your relationships then work on improving your health on a daily basis!
Those daily habits and small details you will do to improve your health will take you to vibrant sustainable health. These newsletters will give you very valuable information to help you avoid health degrading pitfalls, and also improve your health.
Of course there are relationships where emotional baggage, lack of communication, assumptions about the other partner "understanding" that can play a major role in discord, but the cases this newsletter is about are where physical difficulties play the major role and especially are the instigator.
Even the most perfect couple, after 50 years of marriage can move to discord, and very inconspicuously or subtly. And most people may not be aware of their subtle health difficulties!
In the case of the first "perfect" couple mentioned above, the degradation, even minor of each partner's health caused by years of indoor air pollution, lack of regular fresh indoor air, inadequate diet, lack of regular exercise, and probably most importantly the continued use of perfumes and colognes for several years by each partner caused them to start taking each other's habits personally and end the relationship, out of pure respect for each other.
One of the rules of Natural Healing says that "When your health improves, you will take things less and less personally". When you also mentally stop taking things personally, and stop making assumptions that also opens you up to the opportunity for your body to heal even faster. In other words when your body becomes healthier, you will hardly be bothered by the little things anymore, whether at work or with any partner.
Here's another inspiring and very important example of an interaction on the physical and energy meridian level to show you the scope of possible reasons for couples arguing to eventually possibly breaking up. The purpose of this example is to bring awareness to people's subtle mood swings, and relate it to a Chinese medicine diagnosis called Liver-Qi stagnation.
Several years ago, I had the privilege to work on a couple's computer in their condominium. I had been told that the couple had recently reunited. I had observed that every time the husband came home while I was working on the computer, the wife began bickering with him.
I also felt an irritable, frustrating energy emanating from the woman towards her partner. However, a fascinating thing happened at one of my visits. At that visit, I gave a CD gift to the couple, a Chinese Feng Shui music CD. This particular CD is energetic music for the liver. I had also noticed that this woman showed signs of congestion in her body. She had many scleral lines visible from a distance. Scleral lines are those red lines in the whites of your eyes that often get redder when you are tired. Congestion is one of the 7 Physical Causes of Ill Health and is assessed as part of Hanna Kroeger Healer's Full Vibrational Reading.
It was not but a few minutes after she played this CD on a powerful sound system during my work that she stopped wanting to bicker! I believe her partner was very good at not taking her irritability personally. A few years later when I began studying Chinese Medicine, I realized that this Chinese Feng Shui Liver Music helped with liver-Qi stagnation. The music helps smooth the flow of energy through the liver, and thus helps heal the Liver.
The Liver is responsible for the smooth flow of Qi (the invisible life essence, or energy that flows throughout the body in the meridians). The smooth flow of Liver-Qi rather than stagnation ensures you have a smooth emotional life. People who have Liver-Qi stagnation either acutely or chronically can become irritable, prone to arguing, having their way, frustration, emotional ups and downs, anger, fits of rage, and so on.
You can visualize that if a person has ups and downs in mood, their liver-Qi swings like a roller-coaster ride. People who have chronic stagnant liver-Qi have weak livers and get easily frustrated, and also easily constipated. People who are also chronically constipated or do not evacuate enough also have a tendency to have liver-Qi stagnation.
Since women use more "volatile solvents" and chemicals on their bodies than most men, and do most of the house cleaning, and have generally smaller organs and bodies than men, it's entirely feasible and probable that women's health degrades faster than most men's and they are more prone to serious medical diseases.
However, it is not necessarily true for either sex that the continued exposure to any kind of man-made chemical is going to show up in a brain scan as any kind of brain damage, but certainly chemical exposure is going to show up eventually in some kind of ill health even subtle.
Most women probably know they are more prone to serious medical diseases, and they are probably more prone to liver-Qi stagnation because of menstruation as well.
You may be able to now understand how when a couple who is always wearing perfumes and colognes can have liver-Qi stagnation and "get on each other's nerves"! The result of prolonged Liver Qi-stagnation may also often show up on medical tests first as elevated liver enzymes, a serious medical concern. Liver-Qi stagnation most often also results in a low anger threshold, low frustration threshold, or low irritability threshold.
Pay attention to all the chemicals you use in your household, at home, or what you are exposed to at work. This recommendation especially includes scents, and scented products, like indoor air fresheners, and new carpets, dry cleaned clothing, new car smell, etc.
The information presented here can be extended to the development of many illnesses - that is that the exposure to chemicals of any kind can lead to many disorders, and are usually a component of some health difficulty - sleep disorders, mental disorders, emotional disorders, digestive disorders, fatigue disorders. Unrefreshing sleep though is one of the first signs of health degradation.
The most important point to understand here is that most of the time we take our mood swings out on other people, our pets, something we don't like at home, our boss, and may express anger or irritability or frustration. However, remember the real difficulty is in your body!
Since our brain is one of our most important organs, watching Dr. Amen's enjoyable PBS special is a great idea. Dr. Daniel Amen's program is entitled, "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life". There are two other brain related informative PBS specials you may want to look at: Brain Fitness 2: Sight and Sound given by Neuroscientists, and a special by Dr. Fatouli, a neurologist about keeping your brain healthy.
You can watch some free video where Dr. Amen speaks about his work on the media section of his web site.
To purchase the Chinese Feng Shui Music visit the YMAA yahoo store. This beautiful Chinese Health music is originally manufactured by Wind Records in Taiwan, and is distributed in America by many retailers.
View the entire catalog of Wind Records Chinese Health Music. Dragon is the Liver music referred to in this newsletter. Serpent is for the spleen (memory, digestion, immunity, muscles). Tortoise is for the Kidneys (memory, energy, will power). Phoenix is for the Heart. Tiger is for the Lungs.
If you purchase one or more of these Chinese Feng Shui music, ONLY listen to each one ONCE per day and in the correct order.
You can listen to the first 2 minutes of Dragon (Wind in the East) as an mp3 sample.
You can find some additional links with new content listed on the left hand side of this newsletter.
I would like to take this time to wish you Happy Holidays.
I look forward to serving you in reaching Vibrant Sustainable Health.
Master Healer Salvatore Crapanzano
Originally Published: December 2008
Updated: March 28, 2009